Before the enactment of the Philippine Anti-Mail Order Bride law in the 1990's, Filipino women were being married to South Korean men by the thousands through marriage brokers and South Korean-based religious groups.
Among them, the most publicized match-making group were the so-called Moonies. The Moonies were a religious cult that matched and married off its members to one another in mass wedding ceremonies; later on, when the Filipino wife arrives in South Korea, she isn't allowed to leave the Moonies compound until the man pays for his bride. (In this sense, the cult is true-to-form mail order bride agency.)
It's not well-known what the Moonies do to the Filipino brides when they arrive, but it's thought they're brainwashed (none of the women who arrived ever openly talked about their experiences at the Moonies compound).
However, this back story about the Moonies is not as important as what happened to the Moonies Filipino mail order brides - and other mail order brides - when they lived with their Korean husbands.
While it is not known how many are "true" Filipino mail order brides, there are at least 6,191 Filipino women living in South Korea who are married to Korean men. Sadly, although there are women who are happily married, many are divorced, separated or were abandoned by their husbands, so much so that in 2009, the Philippine ambassador to South Korea himself warned Filipino women against marrying South Korean men.
So what are the men from the land of Samsung and Hyundai doing wrong?
1. Not sending their wives to a proper Korean language school
Language barrier is often the most difficult challenge to hurdle between Filipino women and Korean men - while most Filipino women speak English, most Koreans do not speak English at all.
Unfortunately, Korean is a rather difficult language to learn especially for English speakers, not only because of the basic grammar structure ("I ate an apple" would be "I apple ate" in Korean). It takes at least one year and half of intense language education to cover all the grammar patterns and basic vocabulary.
Unfortunately, many Korean men find it too expensive. or a waste of time to send their. wives to a proper Korean language school, not even for the sake of making their marriage a happy one. Many Filipino women and other nationalities married to Koreans have to content themselves with free Korean classes once a week at the local cultural centers, which I think is not at all enough.
2. Thinking that wives are there to serve their husbands
Korean society is basically a Confucian society where the men hold a higher place in society. For example, there's a big difference in salaries between men and women even in big companies like Samsung.
On the home front, men (especially men in their fifties and older) expect their wives to do all the household work, cooking and basically everything else. But it's not enough to do everything at home, the wives are also expected to earn their own money.
3. Living with their mothers and/or being mama's boys
Except in very rare instances, Korean men who are the eldest are expected to take care of their parents and live with them in their old age. But aside from living up to this expectation, many men are mama's boys, most, however, are disempowered from standing up to their mothers (and fathers) when there's a mother-in-law versus daughter-in-law war going on.
This is because in Korean culture, people who are younger are barred from speaking in a strong voice towards their elders. (Like Japanese, Korean also has different levels of speech, from intimate to honorific.)
If you're reading this, you might want to think about how much of the situation of Filipino mail order brides in South Korea reflects the situation in your own country. And maybe you can think about how you can make the life of your own Filipino mail order bride a little bit better.
Among them, the most publicized match-making group were the so-called Moonies. The Moonies were a religious cult that matched and married off its members to one another in mass wedding ceremonies; later on, when the Filipino wife arrives in South Korea, she isn't allowed to leave the Moonies compound until the man pays for his bride. (In this sense, the cult is true-to-form mail order bride agency.)
It's not well-known what the Moonies do to the Filipino brides when they arrive, but it's thought they're brainwashed (none of the women who arrived ever openly talked about their experiences at the Moonies compound).
However, this back story about the Moonies is not as important as what happened to the Moonies Filipino mail order brides - and other mail order brides - when they lived with their Korean husbands.
While it is not known how many are "true" Filipino mail order brides, there are at least 6,191 Filipino women living in South Korea who are married to Korean men. Sadly, although there are women who are happily married, many are divorced, separated or were abandoned by their husbands, so much so that in 2009, the Philippine ambassador to South Korea himself warned Filipino women against marrying South Korean men.
So what are the men from the land of Samsung and Hyundai doing wrong?
1. Not sending their wives to a proper Korean language school
Language barrier is often the most difficult challenge to hurdle between Filipino women and Korean men - while most Filipino women speak English, most Koreans do not speak English at all.
Unfortunately, Korean is a rather difficult language to learn especially for English speakers, not only because of the basic grammar structure ("I ate an apple" would be "I apple ate" in Korean). It takes at least one year and half of intense language education to cover all the grammar patterns and basic vocabulary.
Unfortunately, many Korean men find it too expensive. or a waste of time to send their. wives to a proper Korean language school, not even for the sake of making their marriage a happy one. Many Filipino women and other nationalities married to Koreans have to content themselves with free Korean classes once a week at the local cultural centers, which I think is not at all enough.
2. Thinking that wives are there to serve their husbands
Korean society is basically a Confucian society where the men hold a higher place in society. For example, there's a big difference in salaries between men and women even in big companies like Samsung.
On the home front, men (especially men in their fifties and older) expect their wives to do all the household work, cooking and basically everything else. But it's not enough to do everything at home, the wives are also expected to earn their own money.
3. Living with their mothers and/or being mama's boys
Except in very rare instances, Korean men who are the eldest are expected to take care of their parents and live with them in their old age. But aside from living up to this expectation, many men are mama's boys, most, however, are disempowered from standing up to their mothers (and fathers) when there's a mother-in-law versus daughter-in-law war going on.
This is because in Korean culture, people who are younger are barred from speaking in a strong voice towards their elders. (Like Japanese, Korean also has different levels of speech, from intimate to honorific.)
If you're reading this, you might want to think about how much of the situation of Filipino mail order brides in South Korea reflects the situation in your own country. And maybe you can think about how you can make the life of your own Filipino mail order bride a little bit better.
